Wednesday, September 20, 2006

ENGINEERING COLLEGE SNIGLETS

Following are the Engineering College Sniglets I thought up... All based on my four-year tenure at college while I was enlightening myself on the intricacies of Chemical Engineering, and some more during software training.

ATTENDANTIME: The 'cut-off' time that a person entering class is eligible for attendance for the whole hour. Varies according to the lecturer in advisement.

BATDRAFTING: The practice of using a minidrafter as a make-believe cricket bat and playing a cover drive. Related term: Guitardrafting.

CHEMYSTERY: The unintelligible solution that you just created :

CHEMYTH: The ill-conceived notion that the rest of the college has that Chemical Engineering is all about Chemistry : :

CHIT: Memory-joggers designed for the benefit of exam-takers. Production of these are considered an illegal activity :D

CHITREADING: The fine art of reading exam chits (refer definition above). Highly esoteric, and can be understood only be the writer. Requires eyesight of high microscopic abilities.

COPYWRITER: Person availing of chits. Not related to advertising.

DESK-MS: The ability to type SMS with the phone below the table and not looking at the screen.

DESKITTI: The ubiquitous scribblings and works of arts of Michelangelos-to-bes that you find on every piece of furniture in college.

ELASTIC BAND: The ever-changing college music group :D

ELECTROMYSTERY: The phenomenon of absence of electricity in Electrical Engineering classrooms :O

ENTRAINING: The PC Thomas-like torture we all went through to get our asses out here in the first place :

EXSHAM: A test paper that gets leaked and sullies the name of the university.

GRAPH-I-TEA: The peculiar designs obtained when chaai is spilled on your lab record.

GYMNAUSEUM: The odour emanating from the sweatshirts of guys who work out.

INEBRYTHM: The drunken dance at every college fest, late at night. Generally performed by strange species from the Mens' Hostel.

KOO-RESISTOR: The person who, oblivious of the wild jeering from the crowd, continues singing/dancing/mimicing/whatevering straight-faced!

MALLPRACTICE: The art of skipping class for shopping.

MECHALOMANIA: The undying spirit that ties Mech students together.

MECHALCOHOLOMANIA: The *spirit* that ties Mech students together.

MECHTENDANCE: The rare event of finding a Mech student in class.

NINETYNINE-POINT SOMEONE: The guy who cracks GATE/CAT from every batch :D

NJAANOTECHNOLOGY: The science of studying about yourself (for Mallus only!)

NORMALIZATION: The *standardization* of lab experiment values. Standard values may be obtained from any senior's lab record. (Of course, this means that the first ever batch are the only people to have ever *done* the experiment.)

NOVELIZATION: The art of reading a novel in class.

RE_PARTEE: The person who shifts political orientation with respect to who is in power in college.

RICE AND SHINE: The horror of finding rice being served in for breakfast in hostels.

SIMBIOSIS: The person in college who effortlessly uses two SIMs with his phone...

SOFTSH*T: The bullcrap that you say during software interviews that you wouldn't dream of saying otherwise ("Software is booming! Of course I want to stay with ******* all my life! MBA?! What's that?")

SPONSORSH*T: The hell that all students have to go through, begging people all over the town, for their upcoming departmental fest.

THERMOCOUPLE: The *hottest* couple in college :D

ZZZZZZ: The sound you hear from the back bench during most lectures.

I'll keep updating this as and when I get inspiration. You're free to add on to this :D

13 comments:

n@vneet said...

Lecture:

The art of transferring notes from the professor's book to the female students' book without passing through the minds of either.

beatnik said...

Poker Face: The expression that you see on those compelled to sit on the first bench for whatever reasons,while they sleep with their eyes open.

ChUcK said...

@ Navneet: What about the male students? :D
My blogs are no place for gender discrimination so you'll have to make one up involving them too :D

Suraj said...

Bihari Prof.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor
* You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class)
* Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today...
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
* Take 5 cm wire of any length...

checkout site for every Engineer www.winengineer.com

~==[[[ Abhi ]]]==~ said...

Kool post buddy! Reminded me of the days when i used to ENJOY my days in engineering college. Now it's like, kaise bhi khatam karo and run for ur lives!

Elda Alias The Smoking Mackerel said...

mind if i lift some material off your blog? i'll take it off my blog if you object ( ie i'm assuming that you answer will be in the affirmative)

The Common Man said...

What abt INTERNAL harASSESMENT??

Raheela said...

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together!
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Yo-Yo said...

Calorie-metry : Every time a girl goes on diet...and emerges fatter than ever..!!! :D
P.S: Guys don't need diets to achieve these feats, no discrimination here!! ;)

Transport-Phenomena : The wild transports of joy and delirium each official College bandh is met with!!! :)

Eu-tic tac toe Point : The only place in the imaginary axis which dares to take on the staid three phased Eutectic Point!! :)

The_Wanderer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The_Wanderer said...

Panjaramukku - the sweetest spot in college, famous hangout for the romantically-involved and the dying-to-be-romantically-involved

Loser - the guy who who gets the girl (really?!); verdict usually passed by bunch of single guys who are sitting at canteen and watching female half of a thermocouple

Textbook - cumbersome peice of luggage that has to be carried by dayscholars for the benefit of their parents; usually does not contain more than one-third of the syllabus and one-tenth of the question paper; pointless anyway, coz it invariably gets stolen from bag a week before the the univ exams

University Office - venue for strikes and long queues for application for supplementary exams + revaluation requests

Saghavu - every second chap in ur class; usually situated outside ur class on the first cry of "we salute the Red Salute!..."

Arts - the cultural fest that turns into a slug fest on the last day

Arts Secretary - a fugitive from the day he is elected, so as to escape the brunt of the slug fest, but invariably hunted down on the brink of time; his creaming is the closing ceremony of the Arts festival

Miss - the hottest teacher around who has full attendance, even from people who arent eligible for her course

Thayoli - Mr. Miss, who comes to pick her up in a car with tinted glass

Vedi - the girl in class who has time for everyone but you

Q-Jaada - the spelling of Jaada...Jaadakku oru 'Q' kadakkitte!

ChUcK said...

Brilliant stuff, Wanderer sahib :D

flaashgordon said...

A few from my side


Reynold's number: 045 Fine Carbure


Fourier Transform: Transformation in the engg student due to the 4 years of mental torture at the engg college.

Bernoulli's Theorem: Some random theorem invented by a desparate guy who does "it" to a tube of Burnol.(only for mallus ;-))


Need more?